I haven't logged in for a while, because when you're writing about a cancer blog, the more you feel better in our body and mind, the inverse reaction is that you're less and less worried about your cancer and more and more about your daily life issues, like work and friends andother situations. How many times can you blog in and compose about things that haven't changed, especially when my other survivors and battlers are continuing dealing with awful bullshit? I don't want to taunt that anyone, even if I'm not trying to do that.
I have a friend, Chris Carr, that I've blogged about him a number of times over the course of three years, and outside a very short remission stage a couple of years ago, he's always have to deal with nodes in his spine, and has takes trials and therapies to relieve the pain, as much as he can.
Another friend, Brett, he's a Grade 3 brain tumor, and when I met him, I thought he looked like Wayne Coyne from The Flaming Lips. That was before be had to start taking Dekadron and Temodar and other amazing awful adjustments, and next thing he knew, he blew up and looked a lot different, kinda when I had to deal with that shit two and a half years ago when I was taking that, as opposed to currently, because I never want to look like that again.
Again, that's the reason why I haven't blogged in a while.
About a month or so, waiting for my next MRI, I started getting a little moody and sullen, and I had no idea why. I mean, I was feeling that way for two weeks before I go to Cedars. There were no headaches, no nothing, but I keep thinking about this, just waiting to see Dr. Rudnick. Thinking about it way too much. Usually, when we get ready for the next MRI, it's the night before and I get a little antsy.
So, we finally get have the MRI, and I look at Rudnick, he couldn't have been more concerned. There's a new spot in the frontal lobe, and because he's concerned, he immediately tells me that next Monday, I'm going to start taking an infusion for Irinotecan, a chemo that was started with colon cancer patients. I actually started laughing. Not because I'm not going to take this seriously, but because I had been thinking about this for two and a half weeks, and I was that intuitive. And even though he doesn't know 100% that this actually cancerous, he's treating it like it is. I'm also taking Temodar 100 mg daily. It didn't work the first time, but whatever. I'm just trying to ignore that.
I've taken two infusions now, and this chemo is awful. It zaps me beyond believe. The next one is on 12/9, and then I have another MRI on the 15th. A few months ago, Brett had a bad MRI at Cedars, and at that point, Rudnick switched his chemo, also Irinotecan. His next MRI show great improvement.
We'll see what looks like with me ...
lee
